The Thinker T-shirt

by Tom Warin

(Salem, MA)

The Thinker board game T-shirt from CafePress. Click to buy!Click to buy this item from CafePress!The Thinker T-shirt

Rodin’s “The Thinker”, not to be confused with “The Mad Thinker”, who occasionally bedevils the Fantastic Four.

For over a hundred years, this sculpture has fascinated and inspired people around the world. Through all of that time, one question has gone unanswered: what is he thinking about?

Is he trying to remember where he left his keys? Is he contemplating his role in the struggle between good and not so good? Is he trying to remember whether he really slept with his wife’s sister, or whether that was just a messed up dream?

Now, after literally minutes of research, we can exclusively reveal the problem that has “The Thinker” all tied up in knots. He’s got a really shitty set of tiles. It’s just vowels and ‘Q’. He’s trying to remember some of those Scrabble two-letter words, but nothing’s coming.

Some will ask how it is that Rodin incorporated this into his sculpture forty years before Scrabble was invented. We believe that the first time-travel experiments carried out by the US Government resulted in several board games being sent back into the past. This explains Rodin’s sculpture.

It also explains the markings around King Tut’s burial chamber that translate to: “I will give you 2 wood for 1 ore.”

The government would rather you not wear this The Thinker T-shirt. You’re not afraid of a few secret agents from a shadowy government conspiracy with large handguns and no legal oversight, are you?

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